Board Games into Film... Bad Idea

Hollywood writers are a bunch of idiotic bastards. For those of you who haven't noticed in the past ten years or so, the movie industry has been filled with a bunch or outlandish remakes of movies that were made no more than 20-30 years prior. For example...

Not that I give a damn that it was remade, because I really don't. Just saying that the simple fact is these people aren't even trying anymore. Hell, they literally took the same logo from the original movie and changed the color. Bet those design people are making gobs of money to do shit just like that while real creative people are sitting at home on their hands trying to find a job. Or how about this one...

They literally have remade The Thing  THREE TIMES in a span of the past 60 years. I have only seen the film that was made in 1982, but what could they have possibly done to make this a new and fresh story? I bet they added a sex scene in the 2011 version or something lame like that. It actually makes me upset even talking about it.

Not only are they remaking films over and over again, there are no fresh ideas out there. Where have all the creative minds gone people? It's just recycled junk over and over again. God, if I see another Fast and Furious movie coming out I might stomp into Universal Studios myself and punch Vin Diesel in his annoying face. How many are they on now? 12? Shit, I never thought it would be possible, but they are actually catching up to The Land Before Time in number of sequels. How many flipping times can someone see a Honda Civic with a spoiler drive really fast down the road for 2 hours? But I digress.

If these studios aren't making a remake or recycling the same shit again, they have to reach for something that is familiar to everyone. Something that will please every age group. What could this possibly be? Well, what is one thing that almost every person has done. Oh I know... board games. Yes, you heard me correctly, board games. Studios are actually buying the rights to a bunch of board games and making films about them. In fact, Battleship will be hitting a theater near you very soon. Nothing says excitement like Liam Neeson yelling out B-9 and D-5 for a couple of hours.

Told you so... I wish I were lying. But this is not the only film in the works that was formerly a square piece of cardboard. Let's take a look at a few more shall we.

1. Clue- Clue was already made in 1985 and is actually a pretty funny movie. But yet again with their stupid antics, these schmucks are ruining a good thing and remaking it. No need. 

2. Monopoly-  What could they possibly do with this? Who would they cast as Mr.Monopoly? Sam Elliot would be my best guess. On a personal note, I always wondered what Park Place actually looked like. Seems like a magical place. But I will tell you one thing. If they don't incorporate the get out of jail free card in it, it will go down as possibly one of the worst ideas for a film of all time.

3. Candyland- To be quite honest, this could actually be kind of cool as a movie if it were done right. In my personal opinion, seeing some of those characters in a horror film would be bad ass. But no, it will be some dumb 3-D animated pop up book for 5 year olds and will probably sky rocket into one of the highest grossing movies of all time. Why the hell are all of the Ice Age movies in the top 100 by the way? Just saying. Kids, pfft. Who needs em'.

Those are just some of the ones I have heard about. God only know if they are making any more and in no way shape or form do I want to research it. It makes my brain hurt even thinking about it. But we should have seen this coming. Besides Clue, there was one other motion picture made from a family game. That film was...

Jenga

Too soon? Eh.