Morning

I can say with 100% confidence that there is nothing I hate more in life then waking up before 10am. Not only does it screw my body up for a solid week and a half, I am literally the most irritable bastard to ever walk the face of the earth. I told a co worker this very morning that, and I quote... " I would rather lose a finger than wake up before 10am again." And I am quite serious about that.

I have ten fingers, two or four of which are absolutely useless. So I would be willing to give up my pinkie finger if I no longer had to wake up in the morning. No doubt. Now that I think about it, I would do a lot of different things for that opportunity.

I honestly cant think of a worse feeling in the world then getting woken up by a loud ass alarm clock at the crack of dawn. No matter how you felt the night before, you wake up with a nose that is full of snot, you feel greasy no matter how many times you wash your face, and you just never feel right the entire day. Personally, I don't even like to talk until 11am. Ask anyone I know who has seen me in the morning. I speak with a series of grunts. I sound like cro magnon man. And this is seriously how I walk, sound, and feel...

Not only do I feel awful, everything is amplified by ten. If you stub your toe it feels that much worse. If you shave and nick your cheek, it feels that much worse. And is it me, or is the feeling of warm water on your face as you are taking an early morning shower just the freaking worst. It honestly feels terrible. Speaking of terrible, breakfast doesn't even taste good that early in the morning. Let me tell you... Something as good as freaking bacon or Captain Crunch should taste like edible gold when you are that hungry. But it just doesn't. I can actually hear my stomach yelling at me when I eat in the morning.

I guess in the end all I am saying is that if I want to be a happy person, I need to be able to stay up till 4 am to be happy. It is when I get all of my work done. And by work, I mean playing video games. Mornings, mornings, double borings, I HATE MORNINGS!