Epic Pact

About, oh, 18-20 weeks ago I made one of the worst decisions of my life. Of course it didn't really effect me then or even the 18-20 weeks leading up to this point, but it inevitably did. You see, for a lot of my life I have done something to stand out from the pack. A lot of times it was subconsciously, sometimes not. In high school, for example, I wore a white t-shirt literally everyday for the most part of my junior and senior year. For a short period of time the only shoes I would wear were an orange pair of Chuck Taylor's. And for almost the past decade, people knew me for my facial hair.

Lets get one thing straight. If there was one family of men who were known for growing facial hair, it is the Jackson's. Now in no way shape or form am I comparing any sort of facial hair to my brothers because he has a mammoth beard. All I am saying is that Jackson men can grow facial hair with the best of them. Just take a look.

Here is Joel, Tilly, and I dancing to Old McDonald on that tiny green boom box on my shoulder. Yes, we were acting like gangsters and yes I am holding it on my shoulder like a ghetto blaster. You are also catching me at a time where I had just trimmed the beard so don't make a big assumption besides the fact that we both, in fact, have beards. Now where am I going with this... All I am saying is that having something on your body for almost a decade makes it basically part of you. It becomes part of your look. People know you by it. So when there comes a time where you have to get rid of part of your look it could be pretty traumatizing.

My best friend Justin and I were sitting there one fateful evening before the NFL preseason started and looked at the Pittsburgh Steelers upcoming schedule. At that point, the toughest games on the schedule were against the Patriots and the Ravens. We thought to ourselves, 12 wins easily. 12 wins is enough for you to win the division any year. So I said, innocently may I add, "I will shave my entire body if the Steelers don't win the division. Do you see this schedule?" Without my knowledge, Justin made a Facebook group that would put both him, myself, and our hair in the hands of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Well, we were right on that win total part, but what we didn't take into account was that Ray "small as a grain of" Rice, Joe Faggo, and the Baltimore Raven would own the Steelers this season.  With this and a couple other bad losses on the so called "easy" schedule, the Steelers did not win the division.

The result of this season caused me not only mental anguish, but physical as well. It has been a long time since my stomach was that upset over the fact that I had to get rid of such a big part of me. Driving home I must have said "son of a bitch" at least ten times in pure anger. I mean, I was losing something that I had for ten freaking years people. But I am a man of my word and it had to be done. This is what I looked like when I started the whole project.

Look at me... disgusted, defeated, and oddly enough in a white tee. This is what I looked like after...

Look at me... disgusted, defeated, and without a shirt on. Why? Because I had to shave ALL of my body hair off. Yes ladies and gents, ALL OF IT. I give you props ladies. I never knew how painful it was to shave your legs until I had to do it. I cut a chunk out of my left leg and the shower looked like that scene from Psycho. Shit seriously wouldn't stop bleeding. Also, and probably the worst thing about the whole situation, was that I had to shave my feet. I swear I could have been cast as a Hobbit because my feet are so freaking hairy. Also, who the hell knew a little body hair kept you so warm? I have never been so cold in my life. It literally felt like my thighs were covered in a layer of ice. But anyways... All in all, I stuck through it and did it like a man. I kept my word. If I have learned one thing through this life lesson it would be this... I need to stop making bets with people. I never eeeeeever win them. Epic Pact? Pish posh... How about epic fail.