Is it really a surprise?

In a tragic turn of events, Paula Deen announced to the world yesterday that she has type two diabetes. Honestly people, is this actually a surprise? I have not had one day of medical training in my life, but I am pretty sure putting two sticks of butter in literally every recipe is bad for you. I think this woman brushes her teeth with melted margarine for God sake. I mean, whatever floats your boat, man. From what I understand she was even sponsored.

Just to prove my point, let's look at a couple of her recipes. Lets tart it out with a simple one.

1. Paula Deen's home style buttered noodles (sure to be the hit of the party and a diabetes jump starter)

    Ingredients          

               - 3 sticks of butter

               - bag of noodles

    Directions

               - Boil the noodles 

               - Melt the butter sticks

               - Mix those bad boys together

Or how about this classic?

2. Paula Deen's southern style deep fried butter sticks (for those hardcore butter addicts who want to croak)

Ingredients          

               - 6 sticks of butter

               - Cooking oil

               - Flour      

    Directions

               - Bring that oil to a boil

               - Sprinkle that butter with the flour.

               - Add seasoning if you would like. It's ok kids, I wont tell.

               - Drop that butter in the boiling oil

               - Pray to whatever God you worship that the butter doesn't melt

               - If it does melt, however, just spray whatever is left with that spray butter. It's like the same thing.

Obviously I made those up but honestly it's not far from the truth. I looked up a couple of her recipes and just for example, there are seven tablespoons in her deep fried cheesecake. Good lord that is a lot. I didn't even mention the fact that you DEEP FRY IT AFTERWARDS! That is basically like injecting lard into your veins with a syringe.  

But let's be serious here for a second. Diabetes is no laughing matter. Both of my parents have it and I want nothing to do with it. But I am pretty sure if you don't cut out the outrageous "southern style" cooking antics, you might lose a limb, Paula. Just start deep frying celery or something. You might feel better.