Jewey Braun

One of the happiest days of my life was this past Saturday. I was sitting there peacefully at a local wrestling show with a couple of buddies where I noticed something spectacular on MLBetraderumors.com. You see, I usually check my sites if I am bored out of my mind, and by this time during the wrestling show, I was. It was just this gigantic man talking about a contract or some stupid shit so I was basically zoned out. I first notice three gigantic letters, PED's. For those of you who are unaware of what those letters stand for, you are in for a real treat. PED's, or performance enhancing drug's , are a HUGE problem in baseball. It rears its ugly head every once in a while when a huge star, such as Manny Ramirez back in 2009, is busted and then the debate starts up again... should there be mandatory testing for PED's in the Major Leagues. In my opinion, absolutely, but the players association will never go for that.

After realizing that someone was busted for steroids, I now was paying attention to who it was. I was thinking, first and foremost, it for sure cant be a player on the Pirates. We would be lucky to see a player on the team hit 20 homers in one season let alone one be taking PED's. That is no knock on the team either. If anything that is a compliment because I honestly think the Pirates are the only team in the league who may not have a player on juice. But again, that is purely opinion. By this time you are probably asking yourself who the player was who was caught. Was it that ass face Jose Bautista? I mean he did go from batting 15 homers a year to, all of a sudden, 54. Was it that fat ass Prince Fielder? No, but it WAS a teammate of his. It was that big nosed no talent ass clown Ryan Braun.

No talent you say? Didn't he just win the MVP award? Why yes he did you observant little bastards. That doesn't dismiss the fact that he was sticking a needle in his ass all the time. With my minimal amount of talent in baseball, I could hit 20 homers on roids. Its a fact. Ask any doctor, expert, or baseball analyst, they will tell you that Greg Jackson would hit 20 homers in the majors on roids.

But who am I to judge? Anything to get a competitive edge I guess. I don't agree with it, and Braun actually said that the positive test was "BS." But dude, tests don't lie. I mean, I don't see you sitting down for breakfast eating a nice poppy seed bagel or two for breakfast. How else would you get a false positive on it? That;s right, he didn't. This is exactly how he got a positive test.



Honestly, I am glad this arrogant bastard got caught. In fact, that just gives the Bucco's a better shot at the division... if they have any chance anyways. No Pujols, potentially no fatty Fielder, and no Braun for 50 games means a bunch of W's for the Bucco's. You know what I am really wondering? How long has this dude been juicing? If I were to guess, I would say ever since...

I just have one more thing to say about this dick getting suspended. Hava Nagila.... that is "let us rejoice" in Hebrew.