Why I HATE the New England Patriots

On the eve of Super Bowl XLVI, or 46 for you dopes who don't know Roman numerals, I find myself in a bit of a dilemma. I can't decide on which reason I actually hate the Patriots so much... Waaaait a second. I remember now...

TOM BRADY

 

As many of you know, I have a extreme dislike for this man. I have written at least one blog post, that I can remember, making a joke about this guy. I believe I called him a box of penises or something like that. But besides the fact that he is a giant box of penises, there are a plethora of other reasons why I hate this man. But this is could possibly be nemero uno on my shit list for this man.

Honestly, I have NEVER seen a man wear Ugg boots. And I will never see a respectable man wear a pair of Ugg boots. That's is a stone cold fact. If I wore a pair of those, my man boobs would actually generate some breast tenderness. Even the people who hired the guy to model them were laughing at how outlandish the whole situation was.

So in tribute to Super Bowl XLVI and Tom Brady's time of the month... LET'S GO GIANTS! I will scream it from a frigging mountain top. Break Tom Brady's petite feminine body in half and tell him he has split ends. It will hurt his feelings and will be steaming about it for at least a week.