Disgusting Disgusting Fleece

If there was one thing on this earth I literally can't stand the feeling of, that would be fleece. From the stupid freaking blankets you get every Christmas from someone to the lame clothing Old Navy puts out, I can't even express how awful of a feeling I get when any of those things touches my skin. I swear to you, it is like nails on a damn chalk board. Of the five top things I would never want my skin to come in contact with, this is one of them. In fact here is that list.

1. Fleece
2. Mustard
3. Raw chicken
4. Burn Victims
5. Poop

If any of those things touch my skin, I actually panic. And I mean literally panic. Not that I am afraid of fleece like I am mustard, but I honestly can not even fathom why anyone enjoys the "comfort" of fleece. The reason I am bringing this up is because of this little nugget of joy that my friend Mario showed me a few weeks back. 

Yes. That.

I am not sure which is worse, this or the Snuggi. Either way, they are both made with the cheapest of cloth possible, fleece. What the hell is fleece anyway? It's like some dude said to himself," I really love the feeling of wool but I hate paying for it. I know, I will make this knock off that sort of feels like it... but not really." But enough about how it actually feels, how about this stupid product that I just shamelessly just kind of plugged.

Who in God's name would buy that stupid crap? Don't get me wrong, I know there will be a fair share pf people who will buy it, but they shouldn't. Hell, I could release something that is completely outlandish, and it would sell. I know, how about a reversable shirt that is one side wool and one side fleece with a picture of a pile of turds on it. Hell, let's make it neon orange. That would sell just like this idiotic product will. If you watched the video, it puts these out of work actors into situations that not one person on this earth would actually be in. Case in point... If I saw ANYONE wearing one of those things at a tailgating party, I would throw whatever was in my hand at them. Here is an example of what a fake tailgate looks like compared to a real one.

Also, sure the premise of the "zippered hatches" was a good idea, but I would not be caught dead using one of those in public. Honestly, you realize you are wearing a giant onesie, right? And it seems more useful for other things rather than going to the bathroom. Either way, it could get messy.

Onesie fetish. Hilarity personified.