Nerdcore

On a recent episode of The Daily Show, Anne Hathaway exclaimed that the nerdy looking people in the crowd were, and I quote, "my people." And why does she consider the nerds her people? Well, about two sentences later in the interview will reveal that answer for you. According to her, she is a nerd because she is a "Scrabble fiend!" Anne, my darling, although I think you are literally the sexiest woman on the planet, I would not exactly call you a nerd. I consider myself a pretty big nerd, so I would think I sort of know the difference. Let's compare.

Although I would rather relish in the fact that you are a nerd, I cant. You may like Scrabble, but I would be willing to put the little bit of reputation I have on the fact that you were not in Scrabble club in high school like I was. I was the one sitting in there with a bunch of other nerds, playing words like xi and zilch. People like you, if you even did play scrabble, were playing words like it and for. Just the nature of the beast, man. Now I may be underestimating you, but until I have hard proof I kind of have to. You don't walk down the street seeing gorgeous women playing word games everyday. 

         Let's just face the facts Anne, you weren't a nerd in high school at least. Maybe you grew up to be one because you realized that the real people in this world are the people like myself. But I cant see you in situations like this. 

I can't see you wearing a collared Dragon Ball Z shirt like I did either. Nothing says nerd like a collard Dragon Ball Z shirt, especially when you were on the front page of the newspaper wearing it. It was the first day of school and I just so happened to be smiling, so KAZAM! There I was, in all my nerdy glory.

Anyways, if you can prove that you were and still are this so called nerd, then kudos to you. There is nothing that would make me happier. I already found you attractive, this would just be the cherry on top.