Florida

 Let me get this out in the open first and foremost... I don't give two shits about politics. I do not vote and to be honest I really don't care who the President is. But with that in mind, I still see the news, I still see who is winning the election, and I know what is going on. I have a pulse. And trust me, this blog post is not going to be anything about politics because I am not obligated to share my opinion. Why do I not vote? For a couple of reasons actually. Not only do I think, like probably every other person who does not vote, that my vote does not matter for anything, but it would honestly just be an uninformed push of a button. I know nothing about politics. It confuses me, it pisses me off, and I do not have time in my life for it. With that in mind, I would like to know one thing…

I have been alive for seven Presidential elections. Four or five of those I can actually remember being that in 1988 I was two years old and 1992 I was six. I don't remember ANYTHING at all besides who won most of them. That has obviously changed during that last couple but you get the point. But the single most annoying thing I can remember from the elections is this…

 

That is right everyone, Florida... AKA America's Penis. I swear they are always the only freaking state to cause any problems. Everyone remembers the whole "hanging chad" incident for God sake. But not only that, why are they the only state who can't tally their votes on time? I could MAYBE understand it 4-8 years ago being that nothing was digital, but now? I don't think so. It should literally take a matter of minutes to tally votes. But here we are, nearly 12 hours later, and Florida is still not confirmed. I understand, the President has already won, but honestly it is a joke.

I would love to see what they are doing down there. In my imagination it is a bunch of old people walking around trying to figure out how to do things looking like this...





or this...

or this...

or...

or maybe even...

Like seriously, what are they doing? What the hell is so hard to tally up a few freaking votes and send the information in? My God, California literally doubles you in population. They had their results in within an hour. AN HOUR! And that is technically four hours after you, Florida.

It is now 10am, and you have yet to determine a winner according to MSN.com. Get your shit together you old, stupid, and grossly humid state. The only good thing about you is Disney World. 

Congratulations to Obama though. At least he beat out that cocky looking ass clown Mitt. Who the hell calls their child Mitt anyway?