Who the crap eats avocado? Anyone ever? I mean I could understand if it was some damn tortilla chips and some guacamole, because I know a lot of people like that. But that is literally the only thing anyone has ever eaten that gross looking food with. Shit, what the hell is it even? Is it a fruit? Again, literally not one person knows because not one person eats them. I couldn't even tell you where to buy one except, of course, Subway. But whatever. I understand they are trying to do new things. I mean God forbid no one fell for the ad campaign of a bunch of Olympic athletes eating them to stay healthy. Because THAT makes sense. Every highly tuned athlete goes to a fast food joint to fulfill their nutritional needs. I could totally see pot head Phelps swimming a million laps then scarfing down a chicken BLT on whole wheat. He isn't eating it to stay healthy it's because he is high. Its quite obvious.
But in all seriousness. Who the hell wants to eat avocado on their sandwich? I often think about "what would be delicious on my chicken bacon ranch". And I will tell you what does not come to my mind, avocado. Not only does it look like some sort of manure a hippie would use on their organic bull shit, it smells like balls too. And that isn't even the real reason I don't eat the stuff. I mean if looking like crap, smelling like crap, and being basically a foreign object isn't enough for you, take this into consideration. It TOTALLY looks like an egg from Alien. That's right. You are eating alien eggs... which according to Subway would go well with your egg sandwich in the morning for about $4. YUCK!
Coincidence? I think not.
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