Monday, May 7, 2012

Jesus Harper

Yes kiddies, that is right. Jesus Christ has apparently risen once again... in the form of Bryce Harper.

Or, at least, that is how every sports broadcaster is making it out to be. Honestly, I sat there watching the Phillies v. Nationals game on Sunday night with my buddy Brad in complete shock the way they were talking about this kid. Yes, kid. The boy is 19 years old. That is 6 year younger than me for God sake. And they are comparing him to current stars like Robinson Cano and Matt Kemp. Seriously guys, he has played 8 games. Cool your jets. Comparing this guy to those players is like comparing my writing to Hemingway's. There is no comparison.

But I admit, the kid has been alright thus far. He has made some pretty bone headed plays that look good because of the outcome. They could have easily went the other way though. Take Sunday's game for example. The kid stole home on a pick off attempt at first. Who the hell does that? If I were the manager I would have benched his ass. But Davey Johnson, their current manager, is so damn old he probably didn't even know it actually happened.

And THEN he turned a bloop single into a double not on hustle, but because Juan Pierre may have the worst arm in major league history. He was literally 8 feet away from second base and air mailed the throw almost past the first baseman. I have honestly never seen anything like it. Now if you don't know me, I hate Juan Pierre. I always have and always will. What can the guy do? He honestly can't hit the ball out of the infield. He obviously can't throw the ball well. I mean, this is his batting stance for God sake. Everyone knows what is coming with this guy. 
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But I digress. This is not a bash Juan Pierre blog piece, it is a bash Bryce Harper piece. And like I said, that was easily another play that could have made the kid look idiotic. 

Not only did those plays piss me off, the way they broadcasted the game really bothered me. I am not even exaggerating when I say between every single pitch they would go to another shot of him just standing in the outfield. Not doing anything. Just out where the dandelions grow looking stupid. I mean actually looking like an imbecile. He had the dumbest snaggle toothed look on his face every time they showed him. The one time they showed him, a fly ball was hit right to him. And what did the Jesus Harper do? Catch it? Nope. Dropped it like a high schooler does. That is right everyone. He is 19 years old. He probably went in the locker room and cried about it and then called his momma. Or should I say... he turned some water into whine... ZING!

All I know is if this is like this the rest of the season I don't know how I will be able to take it. Why don't you actually focus on some of the special players who are already in the league right now. How about Billy Butler in Kansas City, Pedro Alvarez in Pittsburgh, or maybe even Jason Kipnis in Cleveland. All of these players are smashing the ball right now. But not on person knows this because the entire hour of SportsCenter is dedicated to Nascar and breaking down Bryce Harper's immature swing. Whatever... I don't get an opinion on the matter so what does it matter. 

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